This phrase is usually used in the context of comparing friendship to a romantic relationship in some way - and implying that a romantic relationship is "higher" and more valuable than a friendship. I couldn't disagree with this mentality more. To me there is nothing "more" than friends. If anything, "just lovers" makes far more sense to me than "just friends" - even though I have no interest in that kind of relationship.
One of the effects of being demisexual (or whatever I am) is that I'm essentially blind to the appeal of sex for the sake of sex. So this means that the likes of casual hookups, fuck buddies, FWBs and the like make absolutely no sense to me. Add the entire sex industry in there for good measure. The point should be quite clear anyway - there are a lot of people out there for whom "just lovers" certainly means something. I don't really get it, but I have to just accept that it exists, since it seems to be a part of human nature for many of us.
So why is "just friends" so aggravating?
"Marry Your Best Friend"
Most people seem to agree that your Significant Other relationship should also be your best friend. After all, this is the person you'll be spending a lot of time with, so you have to get along as friends - during that 99% of the time you're around each other when you're not having sex, or even having romantic Kodak Moments for that matter.
Despite this, the pop culture "language of love" seems to imply that romance needs to be something completely different from friendship. Of an entirely different quality, over and above "just friends". I think this is incredibly damaging. I think all it does is lead to a lot of people marrying for romantic passion and lust rather than marrying for real love - the kind of love that truly respects and accepts a person as a person. This kind of love isn't only very similar to friendship, it is friendship.
There is nothing "just-" about it at all. On the other hand - there is in fact a lot of truth to "just lovers" being something fleeting, superficial and hollow. And I think a lot of people get carried away by these romantic notions rather than stepping back and looking at what's underneath it all, what actually matters. People marry knights in shining armour or princesses instead of marrying their best friends, and then they wonder why it doesn't last.
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