"Introvert Cave" days

I'm in one of those moods today where I really just can't face the "social world" at all. Not in real life anyway. I'm still perfectly fine with online communication such as emails and forums - but if anyone tried to make me go out and do something social tonight - I'd probably just say I already have plans - even though I don't really have "plans". Other than a quiet evening in, chillin' alone. But that's not really something you can (generally speaking) truthfully say to people - without sounding quite odd and possibly somewhat selfish.

But I really don't like pulling that whole "pretend plans" excuse - it's guilt-inducing because it's a "white lie" (and I'm usually a stickler for brutal openness and honesty) - so lately I've actually been quite truthful about being in such moods. Family and old friends know this about me well enough to accept it anyway.

Back in the day (especially when I used to play World of Warcraft), I used to call this spending the day/weekend in the Man Cave. But little did I know that the term Man Cave actually has some quite unfortunate heteronormative (and somewhat sexist) implications. And really, this has nothing to do with being a "man" at all, it's to do with being human and being an introvert. So from now on I'll call this mood (and the associated quiet time in) "spending the day in the Introvert Cave".

I used to think that such moods correlated with being on a bit of mental health low of sorts, but I don't think that's the case at all. Whatever sense of slight anxiety or depression I had about such days in the past, it was only there because of social conditioning - and the peer pressure to "do stuff". The social world is geared to (and generally measured by) the "successes" of the extroverted experience after all, meaning that time spent alone at home is generally equated to time "wasted", time "doing nothing", or even time "being a loser" who has no plans for a Friday night.

It seems like it doesn't matter what you're doing - so long as you're not at home alone. Going out for dinner with family, going out for dinner and drinks with friends, dating, catching a live music act, getting drunk till you puke, chasing tail - anything is better than being a "loser" and spending the evening at home. That's what the cool kids keep telling you right through high school, and it never really ends, until you "settle down" I suppose. But then, that lifestyle comes with a whole new set of predictable social expectations and stereotypes. More than likely completely untenable for this particular introvert altogether! But I digress...

So yes, I get the feeling this entire weekend will be dominated by this mood. There's no particular reason for it that I can work out, it's just something that comes and goes. On Sunday I've got my last Melbourne International Film Festival film to watch, but other than that, much of this weekend will probably be completely unapologetic "scheduled downtime" around here.